Take a minute to read through James 4:1-12

Reflection

• What are the desires you currently struggle with (money, perfection, acceptance, etc.)?
• What does God think about your desires? How have these desires affected your relationship with Him? With others?
• Can you think of any tensions or unrest that have resulted from these desires? Consider asking yourself, who am I fighting with? Where do I feel unrest and tension in my life?

Prayer

• Spend a few moments in prayer and silence asking God to search your heart.
• Ask God to reveal to you the desires that create tension in your relationships with Him and others.
• Prayerfully surrender these desires to him.
• Ask that he will show you how what we most desire is found in Him.

Matthew 7:7-12

 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. ⁹ “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? ¹¹ If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! ¹² So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

James 4:1-2

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? ² You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. ³ When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

Reflection

• James talks about how we do not have because we do not ask God. What are you not asking God? Are there things you are afraid to ask for? Do you not want to ask for certain things?
• Spend some time reflecting on what you have been asking God for. Why have you been asking Him for this? Are there selfish desires or motives for what you are asking?

Prayer

• Be honest to God in prayer about what you long for, hope for, are asking for.
• Confess the selfishness in your heart that we so easily justify and cover up.
• Ask God to reveal any areas where your desires might need to be aligned with His will. What do you sense He is inviting you to give up or reframe?

James 4:4-6 You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. ⁵ Or do you think Scripture says without reason that He jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? ⁶ But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

Reflection

• What might friendship with the world look like? In what areas does my ‘friendship’ with the world set me in opposition to the ways of God?
• Reflect on the relationship between our humility and experiencing God’s grace.
• How have you experienced Gods’ grace recently? How was humility involved in your experience? 

Prayer

• Pray that God might reveal areas where our worldly friendship overshadows his desires for us
• Ask that God might show you areas of your life where you need to practice humility.
• “But he gives us more grace.” – Thank him for his ever-abundant grace in your life.

James 4:7-10 ⁷ Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ⁸ Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ⁹ Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. ¹⁰ Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

 Reflection

• What might submitting to God look like in your current stage of life?
• Repentance requires honesty, humility, and sorrow for our sin. Reflect on the necessity of grieving our sin. What do we miss if we don’t?
• As we continue through this week, consider committing James 4:7-10 to memorization. Spend the next few moments reading it prayerfully. Are there certain burdens you need to surrender? Does God feel near? Do your hands need washed?

Prayer

• God forgive me for…
• I acknowledge my sin of….
• I repent of…
• Lord I accept your forgiveness, may it be ever evident in my life

Read Philippians 2:1-11

Reflection

• How does this passage change your understanding of God’s character?
• How does God’s humility inspire our own?
• Jesus’ humility should humble us. Which line from this passage strikes you the most?

Prayer

• Pray that you might begin to grasp the implications of God’s humility.
• Pray that the Spirit would align our heart and attitude with Christ’s.
• Ask God to bring practical opportunities to demonstrate humility towards others.

Romans 12:1-2

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Reflection

• Begin today by contemplating the ways in which God has and does show you mercy.
• It can be easy to look around us, take the temperature of response and reaction that we see being played out, and assume it is the norm for how we should interact with one another. Take a moment to ask yourself – who is your model for conflict?
• What does it look like to take our cues for conflict from God’s mercy vs the patterns of the world?

Prayer:

• Confess the ways that you have conformed to worldly patterns in your heart when it comes to conflict
• Ask that God may begin to renew your mind as you express gratitude for the ways he has shown you mercy

Romans 12:9-16 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Reflection:

• Despite our best intentions, we cannot will ourselves to feel a certain way overnight. Christlikeness is developed prayerfully and intentionally over time as we walk in the Spirit. As you reflect on these instructions from Paul in Roman’s 12, which are the hardest for you right now? Which instruction is the Spirit pressing on your heart?
• What habits and rhythms might need to be developed in your life, so that spiritual fruit might be ripened in your life?
• Who might you invite to walk with you as you seek to practice these instructions and invitations?

Prayer:

• Acknowledge your weakness to become the person Paul describes. Acknowledge that it is in our weakness his power is made perfect.
• Pray this list back to God, acknowledging that everything God wants to form in us is found in Christ: “Jesus, you loved me sincerely, you are devoted, you honored us above yourself…”
• Pray that the Spirit would form these things in you, that you might grow in Christlikeness.

Romans 12:17-21  Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Reflection:

• What is the tension between peace and passivity? What would godly peace in your relationships look like tangibly?
• Though it may be off-putting at first, consider the implications of knowing God is a God of justice and that he is the one who sets all things right. How does this free us of needing control? What does it look like practically, to trust Him in this?
• As you reflect on conflict in your life and relationships, what are the areas and arenas that depend on you? Are you pursuing peace?

Prayer:

• Offer to God your frustration, anger, disenfranchisement, and hurt. Be honest with him.
• Offer the conflict /relationship / situation to him, acknowledging that he is present, in control, and caring.
• Take a moment to pray for the person you are struggling with. Pray for their wellbeing, their repentance, their relationship with Jesus

1 John 4:20-21  Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.

Reflection:

• Consider where your love for God and your actions and attitude towards others may be out of sync. What lie have we believed that tells us we can disdain a brother or sister yet serve God?
• Love does not always equate to an emotion. Though you may have feelings of bitterness and frustration towards someone, how might you practically love them – and in so loving them, love God?
• Reflect on the fact that loving people, especially those that are hard to love, moves loving God from the abstract to the personal.

Prayer

• Confess any harbored bitterness or anger you may have to God. Acknowledging that while we were God’s enemies he forgave us.
• Prayerfully reflect on the blunt, matter-of-fact nature of John’s statement.
• Ask God what it might look like to love the person or situation with which you’re struggling.

Matthew 5:21-26 21 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister, will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. 23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. 25 “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26 Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.

Reflection:

• How are worship and relationships related? What are the ways that we can worship while having unsettled matters in our life?
• Why do you think we are instructed to handle these matters quickly? As you prepare to worship this weekend – are there outstanding relationships in your life right now that need addressed?
• Is there anyone that you need to reach out to this week? Send a text message? Make a phone call? Apologize?

Prayer:

• Relationships are hard, pray that God would humble you and give you strength to mend any unsettled relationships in your life.
• Pray that the Spirit might give you supernatural boldness to reach out to someone if necessary.
• Ask that God may give you wisdom in how to best approach reconciliation in a given relationship.

Matthew 18:15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”

Reflection

• How does this passage connect to Jesus’ parable of the lost sheep (Matthew 18:12-14)?  
• Why is it important to address sin directly and privately between you and the other person?
• What are the potential consequences of avoiding this difficult conversation?
• Note Jesus’ emphasis on personal confrontation and seeking reconciliation. Consider a time when you felt wronged and how you responded.

Prayer

• Thank God for His emphasis on forgiveness and reconciliation.
• Confess any times you have failed to forgive or seek reconciliation.
• Ask God for wisdom and courage to approach others with love and a desire for restoration.

Matthew 18:20 “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Reflection

• How does the additional involvement of the church community help in resolving conflicts?
• How does the promise of Jesus’ presence help you amid trying to resolve a conflict?

Prayer

• Thank the Lord for His presence, especially in the process of restoration.
• Confess any bitterness you may have toward someone in your life.
• Ask the Lord to help you seek the things that align with His heart.

Matthew 18:21-35. 32“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.  33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’

Reflection

• What is the main lesson of this parable?
• What are the potential consequences of refusing to forgive?
• What does this parable teach us about the importance of understanding that because we have been forgiven much, we can extend much forgiveness?
• Consider how Jesus demonstrated His love for us, in that while we were still sinners, he paid for the wages of our sin on the cross, thus allowing us to experience forgiveness and a restored relationship with Him.

Prayer

• Ask God to reveal any areas where you hold unforgiveness towards others.
• Pray for a heart that is willing to forgive freely, even when it is difficult.
• Take some time to thank the Lord for His forgiveness, and His invitation for you to be included in his heavenly family.

James 2:12-13 Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, ¹³ because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

Matthew 18:35 ³⁵ “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Reflection

• What does it mean to forgive “from the heart”?
• How can unforgiveness affect our relationship with God? With others?
• What would it look like for you to extend mercy to someone in your life?

Prayer

Consider Ephesians 1:7-8 “In him we have redemption through his blood, the                   forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on    us with all wisdom and understanding.”

• Thank God for His immeasurable forgiveness.
• Ask God to fill you with His love, and enable you to extend forgiveness to others.
• Pray for the strength to forgive even when it seems impossible.

Ephesians 4:29-5:2 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 5 ¹ Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children ² and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Reflection

• How can we cultivate a forgiving spirit?
• We are to forgive just as in Christ God forgave us.   What does that look like, and how might we go about extending this level of profound forgiveness?
• How does the fact that we are considered “dearly loved children of God” help us to extend forgiveness to others?

Prayer

• Reflecting on the kindness and compassion of Jesus Christ…
• Commit to living a life characterized by forgiveness and reconciliation.
• Ask God to help you see others through His eyes of love and compassion.
• Pray for the courage to forgive even when you don’t feel like it.