Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Words shape and define our lives.  Words can uplift our soul.  They can inspire and motivate our direction.  They can breathe courage and confidence for the toughest of life’s challenges and illicit the deepest emotions of love and affection.  Our words can also do great damage! Words have murdered characters, started riots, destroyed homes, divided churches, killed reputations, eroded friendships, minimized respect, and squelched optimism. Our words can destroy one’s spirit, stir up hatred and violence. Our words can not only exacerbate wounds but inflict them directly. 

God created us to communicate. Words are not simply sounds caused by air passing through our mouths. Words have real power. God spoke the world into being by the power of His words (Heb. 11:3) and we are in His image in part because of the power we have with words. Words do more than convey information. Of all the creatures on this planet, only man has the ability to communicate through the spoken word. The power to use words is a unique and powerful gift from God. As Proversb says, we have the opportunity to use words to bring life or to bring death.   

Read James 3:1-12  

What does James say about the impact of our words?  

Who are the people in your life that are impacted by your words?    

Who are the people in your life that impact you with their words? How have words influenced your life?    

Can you think of words people spoke to you that brought “life” and words that people spoke that brought “hurt”?  

Read Ephesians 4:22-5:4, Proverbs 12:25, 16:24  

How have people’s words nourished you?  Helped healed you?  Inspired you?  Rescued you? Why not take time to write them a note thanking them.  

Who is someone in your life that you have the ability to speak life into?  What are possible ways to do so?  

 How is the gospel, the good news of salvation, the ultimate form of life that we can speak to others?  

What are the words of life that were spoken to you today? 

What are the words of life that you spoke into others today? 

Words – Day 3 

Ephesians 4:25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 

Read Ephesians 4:22-25, Prov. 12:17-23, John 8:44-47  

Why do we lie?  What are circumstances and situations where you are more prone to lie?  

Why is lying so offensive to Jesus?  

How can lying impact someone’s view of yourself?  How could it impact their view of Jesus if you are a Christ-follower?  

Did I engage in any form of lying or flattery today? This week? 

How can you grow in being more truthful?  

Ephesians 4:26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 

Anger can be a challenging emotion. It’s a feeling that can easily lead to other problems.  Unlike other emotions that affect us first before they start affecting others around us, often the emotion of anger hurts others before it hurts us. When we’re angry, it shows itself in obvious ways— a raised voice, a red face, harsh words, a kick, a punch, or worse. Chances are most of us can look back over the past week and think of a time (or two or three) when our anger showed and was hurtful.  

Anger is a challenging emotion because not only can it be a vice, it can also be a virtue.  If we don’t learn how to handle anger, it can be deadly to ourselves, our relationships and our families.  But, there are times that anger is the appropriate response to something or someone. In fact, anger is sometimes used to describe God’s justice and holiness along with His mercy and patience.  When the Bible talks about anger, it’s usually in reference to God, His wrath and His slowness to anger, as He deals with sin and injustice with mercy and righteousness.  There are times when anger is appropriate and even helpful.  It’s an emotion we need to learn how to express in a godly and helpful way because anger is a God-given emotion.    

Think through a time when you were extremely angry. What caused your anger? How did you respond? What resulted from your anger?  

What often agitates you and gets you angry?  

Read James 1:19-21  

List some examples of righteous Godly anger and unrighteous humanly anger?   

What are some helpful parameters to help you discern whether your anger is Godly or not? 

Read Colossians 3:5-14  

How do you begin to put to death human anger?  

How can you begin to trust more that God’s righteous anger will be shown?  

Paul tells us that anger is present, we should acknowledge it, and then seek to control it. We’re not to hang on to unresolved anger. Anger was meant to be a visitor, not a resident.  When we let the sun go down on anger, and we let it fester and simmer, Satan will use it as a catalyst for bitterness and revenge.  Your anger will eat you alive from the inside out.  It will wipe out your relationships like a wildfire.  

Anger presents us with an opportunity to do right or wrong. Anger itself isn’t sinful; it’s a signal that something is wrong. Handled appropriately, anger can help us reorient our lives, seek a solution, fix what’s wrong, reconcile.  However, what we do with that anger, often determines whether it’s sinful or not.   Is your anger a visitor or a resident?  

Read Ephesians 4:22-5:2  

What does Paul mean when he says to “not let the sun go down while you are still angry”? How does our anger give the devil a foothold?   

What other emotions must accompany our anger in responding to social injustices? What emotions accompany our unhealthy anger?  

How do we get rid of our bitterness, or anger? How does the Gospel motivate us to get rid of our anger?  

What makes you angry in an unhealthy way? What things cause you to get mad when there really is no reason to be angry?  

Read Genesis 4:2-8 & Proverbs 29:11 

What can you do to properly deal with your anger?   

What do you need to implement to help you respond positively to what makes you angry (analyze your anger, eliminate combustibles, respond thoughtfully, remember Jesus’ love)? 

Read Colossians 3:5-14, Proverbs 10:19, 12:16, 13:3  

What often agitates you and gets you angry?  

Is anger a sin?  What does God seem to be more concerned about?  

What is the difference between righteous anger and unrighteous anger?   

How do angry words affect relationships?  

What does Proverbs encourage us to do with our anger?  

Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  

God, as a loving Father, created marriage with the intention of companionship and camaraderie. In marriage, God intends husband and wife to be uniquely connected. Spouses are intended to share the deepest spiritual, emotional, and physical connectedness above all other human relationships. Your marriage relationship, aside from your relationship with God, is to the place where you find greatest vulnerability, greatest friendship, and greatest companionship. So much so that two individuals are to be considered as one.  

Why do you think our culture has such a pessimistic attitude regarding marriage? What are some of the prevailing “opinions” /“misunderstandings” of marriage in our culture? 

Read Genesis 2:18-25 

How is the oneness of marriage rooted in creation? 

In this passage, what are some of the reasons given that God created women?  

What relationships must we leave in our culture to ensure cleaving to our spouse? 

As you consider this passage list five ways that your spouse (or future spouse) acts a “suitable companion” in your life.  If you are married, please consider sharing these with each other.  

Today’s Prayer:  God your desire is and has always been permanency within marriage.  Help me to view marriage as the union of two that become one in your eyes.   

The gospel is a picture of marriage and marriage is a picture of the gospel.  Take a look at today’s passage to see how God relates marriage to His relationship with us.  

Read Ephesians 5:21-33 

Write 3 observations about the role of wives based on this passage?  

What 3 observations about the role of husbands based on this passage? 

Why do you think Paul told wives to respect their husbands & husbands to love their wives in Ephesians 5:33? Does this mean wives do not need to worry about loving their husbands or husbands don’t need to worry about respecting their wives? 

What does the description of marriage about the relationship between Jesus and his Church? 

How does the gospel help us to understand marriage & marriage help us to understand the gospel? 

Today’s Prayer:  Jesus, help me to fully understand your love for your bride, the Church.  Help me to begin to model that love within the context of my marriage. 

God has a specific desire for men and women within the context of marriage.  Take a look at today’s passage to understand what God’s plan is for husbands and wives. 

Read 1 Peter 3:1-7 

Write 3 observations about the role of wives based on this passage? 

What 3 observations about the role of husbands based on this passage? 

What aspects of the roles of husbands and wives look “alien” and “foreign” to our culture? 

How in your opinion does a 1 Peter marriage serve as a testimony of God’s love to the world? 

Today Prayer:  Heavenly Father, help me to see my role within my marriage as you see it.  I also ask that you would help me to live with confidence and trust in the plan that you have for my marriage.  

Love.  Love. Love.  All you need is love.  It is a word that is repeated time and time again in a wedding ceremony.  The passage we take a look at today is one that is often a part of modern wedding ceremonies.  Take a look at how God defines love in this passage and it’s implications for marriage. 

Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 

What does this passage tell us about love? How does this kind of love show up in marriage? 

What is the difference between marriage vows being a declaration of present feelings versus a promise of future love? What things test our vow of future love? 

How does the promise of future love cultivate and nurture a marriage? 

Reread 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Read it a 2nd time, substituting your name for the word love. 

Read 1 John 4:7-11 

What is the only proper source and motivation for love? 

How does the love of God allow us to love others more deeply? 

 Today’s Prayer:  Heavenly Father, I confess that my love is not always ________________.  Help me to fully embrace your love and allow my love for my spouse to be an overflow of the love that I have experienced from you. 

God has designed intimacy to be shared within the context of marriage.  Take a look at today’s verses to see what he says about physical intimacy. 

Read 1 Corinthians 6:-12-20, Hebrews 13:4 

Why do you think God designed physical intimacy to be experienced in the covenant relationship of marriage? 

What are the things that block intimacy in a marriage relationship? How do you think you can cultivate emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy in a marriage relationship?

What is one thing that you can do to cultivate intimacy in your marriage? 

How can we honor marriage? How do we dishonor marriage?

Today’s Prayer:  Heavenly Father, help me to only have eyes for my spouse.  Help me to pursue spiritual, emotional and physical intimacy with my spouse. 

Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. 

Within a family, good parent and children relations is important. A healthy family is able to maintain positive relationships with each other. Scripture speaks of the importance of good relationships between parents and children, so important that God had it written into stone when he wrote the 10 commandments.  

Read Exodus 20:1-21

Write down some of your initial thoughts when you hear, “honor your father and mother”?

What are some things children can do to honor their parents? 

How should parents react when their children do not honor them?  

What can make honoring parents difficult? 

How does one honor their parents if they are divorced and divisive? 

Today’s prayer:  Lord, I confess for those times that I have not properly honored my parents.  I ask for your divine assistance and your Holy Spirit to give me the ability to honor my parents, even when it’s hard to do because it is your will and your plan for my family. 

Yesterday, we learned that God holds sons and daughters to the responsibility of honoring their parents. Today, we will look at a passage in the New Testament that instructs the proper relationship between children and parents.  

Read Ephesians 6:1-4

In this passage the whole family receives instructions on how to live together. Paul tells children to obey their parents and then quotes Exodus 20:12. In addition, Paul then goes on to speak to parents, fathers in particular. He tells fathers to not “exasperate” their children, but instead to instruct and train them up in the Lord.  

What is the difference between obeying and honoring?  

Is it possible to honor your parents without obeying them?  

Paul says to, “Obey your parents in the Lord.” What difference does knowing Jesus make when it comes to obeying your parents?  

Has honoring one’s parents changed from one generation to the next?  

List the things parents can do to “train and instruct” a child in the Lord: 

Today’s Prayer for children:  Father God, help me to obey and honor my parents well.  Help me to love and treat them with respect no matter what stage of life they may be in.

Today’s Prayer for parents:  Heavenly Father, help not to irritate and infuriate my children but rather graciously train and instruct them in the same manner in which you interact with me. 

Today, we are going to look at an example of a parent instructing his child and a child honoring their parent. David, in the Old Testament, was the greatest king Israel ever had. God did many great thinks through David because of his love for him. Near the end of David’s life, David left his son, Solomon, some advice and instructions. In today’s passages, observe how David instructs his son and then to Solomon’s response to his David instructions and advice.  

 Read 1 Chronicles 28:9-12 and 2 Chronicles 6:14-17 

 If you’re a parent, what can you learn from David instructions to his Son? 

 In 1 Chronicles 28:9-10, what do we learn about the Lord and his character? How does knowing God affect the advice we give our children?  

If you only had a short time to live, what advice or instructions would you leave for your children? 

Did Solomon honor his Father?  Did Solomon show a similar reverence to God as his father did? Yes or no, explain. 

Write down a list of ways Solomon obeyed his father: 

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Children are a blessings and gift of the Lord.  Children can bring endless joy, but can also be a lot of hard work.  Consider what God says about children and our role as parents.

Read Psalm 127:3 

How does seeing my child as a gift from the Lord change the manner in which I consider my role as parent? 

Practically speaking, what should it look like if I consider my child a gift from the Lord? 

Read Proverbs 4:23, Deuteronomy 11:18-21 

What is the difference between seeing the role of parent as hard work versus heart work? 

What does it look like to guard the heart of your children? 

What is the difference between modifying behavior and training their hearts? 

Many parents hope to prepare their children for life by the age of 18, what does prepared for life mean for you? 

What are some barriers that keep children from sharing with parents what is truly on their heart and what they are struggling with?

Today’s Prayer for Parents:  Heavenly Father, help me to truly embrace my child/children as a gift from you.  Help me to consider how to mold their heart rather than change their behavior.   

Parents should be the primary spiritual coaches in their children’s lives. The first role of a parent should be the disciple and grow their children in the Lord.  In today’s passage, see how Moses instructed the nation of Israel as they were about to enter the promise land. 

Read Deuteronomy 6:1-9 

Based upon this passage, what does it mean to be the primary spiritual coach in my child’s life? 

What things does God want us to impress upon our children? 

How can I know whether I am giving my children a clear picture of what it means to follow God or a blank script? 

At your stage of life, what does it mean for you to help (coach) your children?  Why do you think it is difficult for some parents to disciple their children? 

Today’s Prayer for Parents:  Heavenly Father, help me to embrace the role of primary spiritual coach in my child’s life.  Lord, when I feel inadequate to fulfill this role, may you strengthen me with your grace and allow me to walk in step with your Holy Spirit as I parent.

Parents have a responsibility to train, instruct and discipline their children.  Take a look at today’s passage to see what God says about a parent’s responsibility.   

Read Ephesians 6:1-4 

What does “exasperate” mean? Have you ever exasperate your children? If so, how? 

How have you experienced or seen other parents exasperate their children?  How does training and instructing look different? 

Read Hebrews 12:4-11 

Why is disciplining necessary? 

What is the hope of loving discipline? 

How does God’s discipline serve as a model for our parenting? 

Today’s Prayer for Parents:  Heavenly Father, help me to accept the responsibility of parenthood.  Grant me the desire to be more than just a friend to my children, but also a Godly authority in their lives.   

Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 

Paul says that the conflict isn’t against flesh and blood.  In other words, it‘s not a human problem, it’s not a struggle of man against man.  We’re tempted to say that our problem is other people, that we struggle against flesh and blood; but Paul says we can’t explain life adequately on that level. We must look further; we must look deeper than that. The problem isn’t against flesh and blood. Rather, there’s set against the whole human race certain principalities and powers, world rulers of darkness, wicked spirits in high places. These are our problem.  These are the enemies we’re up against.  And yet, where are these enemies?  I can’t see them!  I can’t touch them!  So how do I know they exist?    

As a society, even as Christians, we tend to accept as reality only those things that we can see, hear, touch, smell, or taste. The ring on my finger is real, I can feel it.  The food in the microwave is real, I can smell it.  I know that they’re real, because I can experience them with the senses God has given me. But when we begin to talk about things that are invisible, things not seen, heard, touched, smelled, or tasted, we tend to think that those things aren’t real.  We may say they are, but our lives tell a different story.  

One of Satan’s most effective strategies is the delusion that no seriously threatening conflict between good and evil is really waging in a supernatural realm.  Whether we buy into his strategy depends on our worldview. A worldview is basically the lens through which we perceive reality – it determines what you believe and the way you look at life.  There are basically two ways of understanding our world, either through a natural/materialistic worldview or through a spiritual worldview, that there is a realm outside of the physical.  

Read Ephesians 6:10-20  

Why can it be difficult to acknowledge the reality of the invisible world around us?

When was the last time that you considered that a struggle or relational conflict may be associated/influenced by satanic opposition?  How would this change our reactions to these events?

What have you previously been taught about the unseen realm?

Paul is letting us know that we’re in a conflict, a battle of good and evil.  He wants us to be aware of the forces at work around us so that we’re better able to defend ourselves in Christ.  The fact that Paul introduces this concept of spiritual warfare in the mix of relationships with one another, godly families and work relationships that honor God suggest that none of these things can be achieved without expecting some kind of conflict.  As we live out the Christian life we find ourselves in a lifelong struggle against forces that want to see us fail.  We’re under attack!  

You see, the true Christian described in Ephesians 1-3 who walks in Christ as described in chapters 4-6 – can be sure that he/she will be involved in the spiritual warfare being described here.  If we’re walking worthy of our calling, in humility rather than pride; in unity rather than bitterness; in the new self rather than the old; in love rather than lust; in light rather than darkness; in wisdom rather than foolishness; in the fullness of the Spirit rather than our self-indulgences; then we can be certain we’ll be opposed – under attack.    

Read Ephesians 6:10-20  

Our foe is formidable, and we must respect him, but not fear him or be preoccupied by it.  How do we discern the difference between respecting him and fearing him?  

We are told be strong and to put on the full armor of God in order to stand against the schemes of the devil!  What observations can you make from this passage about the armor of God?    

How does it make you feel that you are under attack from Satan?  How does it impact how you live your life day to day?  

In verse 11, Paul tells us to stand against the devil’s schemes.  The Greek word for schemes, from which we get our word “methods,” was often used to describe a wild animal who would stalk and unexpectedly pounce on its victim.   Satan’s methods revolve around cunning deception. Jesus said that when the devil lies, he speaks out of his very nature.  He first appears in the Bible in Genesis 3 using deception to lure Adam and Eve into sin. He specializes in mixing enough truth with falsehood, to make it seem possible.  Satan is the ultimate spin doctor.  In Rev. 12:9, he’s called the one “who leads the whole world astray.” Satan will deceive us about how powerful he is. Many people ascribe power to Satan that he doesn’t have, giving him more credit than he deserves. Satan capitalizes on our fear by attacking us—usually when we’re alone, when it’s dark, and we’re weak.  We need to be able to understand and defeat Satan without glorifying Him. Satan wants to make you turn left when you ought to turn right.  He wants to make you miserable when you ought to be happy, taste defeat when you ought to be celebrating victory.  He wants to ruin your life and turn you from God.  It’s easy to focus too much on what Satan can do and be intimidated. Instead, we should focus on our resources in Christ so we can meet Satan’s challenges with confidence.

Read Ephesians 6:10-20, 1 Timothy 4:1, Rev. 12:9  

Satan is a disguise artist who is alive and active.  In what ways do you feel like he could deceive the church?

Why is it hard to discern truth mixed with falsehood? 

What aspects of the armor of God help protect us from believing his lies?  What weapons are we given to combat his attack?  

In most, if not all sports, there are offensive and defensive strategies.  A big part of any defensive strategy is understanding the opponent.  Satan is a created spirit, an angel, who was once the highest of all created beings.  He was a guardian of God’s glory, and the nature of his sin was pride.  Satan is given many names throughout Scripture such as the Devil (1 Peter 5), Lucifer (Isaiah 14:12), Evil One (1 John 5:19), Tempter (1 Thess. 3:5), Prince of this world (John 12:31), Accuser (Rev. 12:10), Serpent (Gen. 3), Dragon (Rev. 12:3) and Angel of Light (2 Cor. 11:14).  He seeks to attack the Church through false philosophies (Col. 2:8), false religions (1 Cor. 10:19), false ministers (2 Cor. 11:14-15), false doctrine (1 John 2:18), false disciples (Matthew 13) and false morals (2 Thess. 2:7).  Though his power is limited (Job 1:12), he attacks through directing governments (Dan. 10:13), persecuting the saints (Rev. 2:10), planting doubt (Gen. 3:1-2), provoking sin (1 John 2:16), producing cults (1 Timothy 4:1), deceiving men (2 Cor. 4:4) and destroying life (Hebrews 2:14).  Satan is alive and active, and he seeks to blind the minds of unbelievers (2 Cor. 4:4), to steal the word of God (Matthew 13:19), to set traps for people (2 Timothy 2:26) and to block ministry (1 Thessalonians 2:18).

Read 1 Peter 5:8-9, James 4:7, 1 John 4:4 & 5:4-5, Rev. 12:11

Q:  In preparation for a game, what do you do?

Q:  What sticks out to you about the above description of our opponent?  

Q:  What is our opponent’s ultimate goal?  

Q:  What do today’s verses say about our game plan?  

Read 2 Corinthians 10:3-5, Philippians 4:4-9

This passage opens with an assumption that we are all part of an invisible war and the major battlefield is fought in the mind.  It is not a war as the world knows it, but it is a war fought in our minds.  Our minds are battlefields where moral and spiritual battles are waged and we are under attack every second of the day. The devil’s chief target is the mind, because the most effective way to influence behavior is to influence thinking. 

The passage also encourages us to recognize enemy propaganda and detect enemy camps. Propaganda in this passage is arguments, pretensions and thoughts against the knowledge of God. Propaganda is a form of communication from the devil aimed towards influencing the attitude of Christians by presenting sin to be favorable.  Enemy camps are incorrect thinking patterns.  Enemy camps are built upon deception and lies that we’ve accepted into our minds that are against the knowledge of God.     

Lastly, the passage offers hope in the war.  We have been empowered to destroy and take captive the enemy. We have been given weapons in this war that have divine power to destroy thoughts against the knowledge of God. One of these weapons is the Word of God!   

 What observations can you make about the battle? Our enemy? God? Our role? Our mind?

What are some healthy ways to overcome incorrect thinking?

Describe your personal process of being made new in the attitude of your mind?