Prayer is conversation

If you had to come up with a list of the top reasons why people tend not to pray, what would some of them be? I suspect one of the most frequent reasons could be that they don’t feel God is actually hearing their prayers. They keep talking and talking to God, but He’s not talking back. They feel like it’s just them talking to the wind. Do you ever feel like that? Does it ever feel like when you pray, your words are just getting stuck in the ceiling panels? If so, know that you’re not alone! But if and when we feel like this, we need to make sure that we’re balancing those feelings with the truth of the Bible—and there we find that actually the exact opposite is true!

How do these verses show us that prayer is conversation with God?
1 John 5:14

Mark 11:24

Psalm 145:18

Proverbs 15:29

Psalm 4:3 John 9:31

The Bible makes it very clear to us that God hears us when we pray to Him. It really is conversation! While we probably won’t receive immediate, verbal responses from God when we are praying to Him, we can be sure that He is hearing us and that He will respond to us, whether through events, circumstances, or answered prayers. Our prayers are never in vain.

Q: How should knowing that God truly hears us when we pray change what our prayer time looks like?

Q: What is one helpful thing that you could do when you feel like God is not hearing your prayers?

Challenge:
Set a goal of the length of time to spend in prayer each day through the next four weeks (make sure it’s realistic!)

Prayer is petition

When you think of what prayer is, it’s likely that the first thing that comes to mind is that it’s you asking God for a certain thing. A lot of times, this is almost entirely what our prayers consist of, right? We want that job or a certain outcome in a situation, so you ask God that He would act so that those things would happen. This is called “petition” – when we make a request to God for something. While there is more to prayer than this (which we’ll explore in the coming days), it’s important to understand that petition is certainly part of what prayer is!

Read Philippians 4:6; Matthew 21:22; Matthew 7:7
Q: What do these verses tell us about God’s desire for us to talk to Him about our needs?

Q: Is there a situation or a person in your life that you should be praying to God about but haven’t been? What/ who?

Q: How does knowing that God desires us to bring our requests before Him change the way that we approach Him in prayer?

Prayer is communion

When you said “yes” to Jesus, you were adopted into God’s family as a son or daughter (Galatians 4:5). This means that prayer is so much more than just asking and receiving, it is fellowship with the one whom we now get to call “Father.” So even though we can bring our requests before God in prayer, it is so much more than simply asking for one thing after another! Having been adopted into God’s family and having the Holy Spirit living within us, we have a natural desire to spend time talking with Him. Our focus is not on the activity of prayer, but on God.

Read Luke 6:12-13
Q: What do you think Jesus prayed about all throughout the night? Do you think that He was simply asking things of the Father?

Q: Do you ever find yourself only asking God for things in prayer rather than just spending time talking with Him?

Read Romans 8:15; Galatians 4:4-6; Ephesians 3:14-15
Q: How does knowing that we have been adopted as sons and daughters of God change the way we approach God in prayer?

Q: How does the Spirit within us help us to pray to God as our Father?

Prayer is Dependence

Along with prayer functioning as a way to bring requests before God and a way to spend time with God our Father, prayer is also an expression of dependence. When we pray, we are essentially admitting that we cannot handle every- thing in our life on our own. We are saying that we need God’s help in the things that we are doing. We are inviting Him into every area of our life.

Read John 15:1-8
Q: What does this passage tell us about the importance of remaining dependent on God?

Q: What does it look like in your own life when you begin to lose your sense of dependence on God?

Q: What can we do to continually cultivate this sense of dependence within us?

Q: Why do you think Christians can tend to lose their sense of God-dependence over time?

Prayer is conflict

Because of our adoption into God’s family as a result of our faith in Christ, the biggest opponent of God now becomes our opponent as well. Satan is the constant enemy of the mission of God and he will fight against anything that is a part of God’s mission—and that includes the life and ministry of His children. When we read the Bible though, we see that Satan is NOT an unbeatable foe!

Read James 4:7
Q: What does this verse promise to the one who resists the devil?

Q: What do you think it means to resist the devil?

Read 2 Corinthians 10:4
Prayer is one of the key weapons that we are given to fight against Satan, so naturally Satan will do everything in his power to keep us from using it against him! He will try and convince us that it’s not important or that there’s no power behind it, but we see here in this verse that that’s simply not true! Prayer is a powerful weapon against the attacks of Satan.

Q: How can we pray in such a way that we can use our prayers to oppose Satan’s plans?

Q: How could knowing that your prayers can actually be used as a weapon against Satan change the way that you pray?

I should pray alone

What do the following verses have to say about how we should pray?

Matthew 6:5-6

Luke 5:16

Psalm 46:10

Q: Why do you think it is important that we spend time praying alone?

Q: What are some things that often stop you from spending time alone in prayer? How can you make sure these things don’t stop you?

Q: What is the best place for you to spend time alone with God in prayer? (Room, car, etc.)

I should pray with others

We saw yesterday that it is important that when we pray, we spend time alone with God. Today, though, we will look at Scripture that shows us that we should also spend time in prayer with others. What do the following verses teach us about prayer?

Luke 9:28
Acts 1:14

Q: Do you often spend time praying with other believers?

Q: Why do you think it is important to pray with others?

Q: What is the biggest challenge for you when it comes to praying with other believers?

Q: If you don’t already have a group of people you often pray with, who are some people in your life that you could seek out to pray with regularly?

I should pray concisely

If we’re honest, a lot of the time when we pray we can feel like the more words we can muster up, the more likely it is that God will hear us and answer our prayers, right? Does it ever seem that when you pray with other people, they are just so much “better” at praying than you are? Is that true? Does God—at least in part—judge my prayers by how much I say to Him or how much time I spend praying to Him? When we look to the Bible, we see that we can find answers to these questions that we might have!

Read Matthew 6:7-13 a few times
Q: What does this passage have to say about how we should pray (specifically verse 7)?

Q: If God hearing your prayers isn’t dependent on how much you say or how long you pray, how does that affect what your time talking to God looks like?

Q: How might knowing that God already knows what you need before you ask (verse 8) change the way you pray?

I should pray extensively

Yesterday we learned that when we pray we should not aim to pile up many words in hope that it might make our prayer more likely to be heard by God. The prayer that Jesus gives His disciples as a model is only a few short sentences! While it is obviously true that we should not seek to pray long prayers just for the sake of them being long prayers, we find elsewhere in the Bible that along with praying concise prayers we should also seek to spend extensive amounts of time in prayer with God.

Read Acts 16:25 and Luke 6:12
Q: What do these verses show us about praying for long periods of time?

Q: In light of other passages we have looked at through- out this study, what do you think Paul, Silas, and Jesus were praying about so late into and through the night? Do you think they were simply asking God for things or were they doing something more? What do you think?

Q: What are some practical ways that you can motivate yourself to spend longer periods of time in prayer?

Q: What do you think the greatest benefit is of praying for long periods of time?

I should pray continually

What do the following verses say about the frequency at which we should pray?

Luke 5:16

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Ephesians 6:18

These verses show us that prayer should not only be a part of our lives, it should be central! Regardless of the circumstance, regardless of whether or not we had already prayed that day, regardless of what is on our mind, it is God’s will for us that we pray continually—prayer should be so central to our lives that it becomes part of our very lifestyle! God desires to be so close to us that we share everything about our lives with Him and bring everything before Him in prayer.

Q: If God already knows everything that is happening in your life throughout the day, why do you think He still desires that we pray continually?

Q: What should be our motivation to make prayer a priority throughout the day?

Q: Do you wish you prayed more often throughout the day? What is one practical way you can remind yourself throughout the day to remain in prayer?

I should pray with boldness

What do the following verses have to say about how we should approach God in prayer?

Hebrews 4:15-16

Ephesians 3:11-12

1 John 5:14

What we see in these verses is that when we approach God in prayer, we don’t need to be fearful, timid, or scared. Instead, because of the work of Jesus on behalf of us, we can come to God with a boldness and confidence that He hears us! Jesus bridged the gap that sin had made between us and the Father. So we can now approach God with confidence, knowing that He wants us to speak to Him and knowing that He really does hear and care what we have to say.

Q: Do you ever pray with a lack of boldness or confidence – maybe even timidly? Why do you think that happens sometimes?

Q: What does it look like to approach God boldly? How would that play itself out in your own prayer life?

Q: Looking at the Hebrews passage above, how does knowing that Jesus is able to empathize with our weaknesses change the way we pray to Him?

I should pray sincerely

Have you ever greeted someone by asking how they are doing and they reply they’re doing well, even though it’s clear that they really aren’t? Odds are we all have. That’s just something we do! It has simply become ingrained in how we interact with others! So often we can tend to mask how we’re really doing and to keep it to ourselves rather than be honest with them. We feel like we need to put on a face of “everything’s fine” when someone asks how we’re doing. And if we’re honest, a lot of times when we pray, can’t we drift toward being a little vague or to beat around the bush even with God? We sometimes—maybe subcon- sciously—try to convince Him that we’re doing fine, even when we aren’t. Our prayers can become generic, stale, or maybe we even withhold certain things because we think that feeling a certain way or thinking a certain thing isn’t appropriate to tell God. Many of the Psalms in the Bible show us that it is okay and even good to be honest with God when we are not doing well or in a difficult situation. We should always balance the way we are feeling with the truth we know from God’s Word, but God really does want us to be honest and sincere with Him.

Read Psalm 77; Psalm 62:8
Q: What do you think it means to “pour out your heart” to God?

Q: What do these verses show us about whether or not it’s okay to be honest with God?

Q: Do you ever find yourself being vague or not completely honest with God? What do you think causes this?

Q: What is one thing in your life that you may have been unintentionally holding back from talking to God about? Maybe it is a sin in your life, a disappointment, a frustra- tion, or anything else! Now, bring it before God and be honest with Him about where you’re at!

I should pray submissively

Yesterday we looked at how we should be honest with God when we talk with Him in prayer. Whether that be in regards to our worries, sins, or desires, God wants us to be sincere when we pray. While it is certainly good to be open and honest with God about our desires and our requests, we must also be sure that when we bring these requests to God, we are also praying submissively—trusting that even if God does not answer our prayers the way we want Him to, that it is for the best because He knows best.

Read Luke 22:42
Q: What is the context of this verse? Who is saying this and in regards to what situation? What is “this cup”?

Q: How does this verse demonstrate what it means to pray submissively and why should we follow this model?

Q: Do you find the idea of balancing being real in prayer with praying submissively difficult? Why might that be a challenge?

Q: Is there anything for which you have been praying for a while, but have not also been submitting to whatever God knows is best?

Q: What is our comfort when God answers our prayers in a completely different way than what we had been hoping for?

I should pray humbly

Read James 4:10; 1 Peter 5:6; Luke 18:9-14
Q: What do these verses show about the importance of being humble before God?

Q: In the Luke passage, which person did Jesus say was justified before God in his prayer? Why?

Q: Why did the tax collector behave the way he did when he was speaking to God? What did he realize about himself that made him so humble before God?

Because we are sinners, not one of us has the right to enter into the presence of God and to speak to Him and to petition Him. BUT, because of the death of Jesus Christ on our behalf, we are now able and even invited to come before God and to present our requests to Him! When we come before God in prayer with a correct understanding of our sinfulness and an accurate understanding of the incredible grace offered to us, there is no room for arrogance! Our prayers should be marinated with humility and an unbelievable thankfulness for the work of God through Christ!

Q: How does realizing that even being able to come before God despite your sin change the way you interact with Him?

Q: How can you continually cultivate a spirit of humility and thankfulness in your prayer life?

I should pray fervently

Read about how each of these biblical characters prayed. What stands out as to how they prayed?

Elijah: (James 5:16-17)

Moses: (Exodus 32:11-13, 31-32; 33:12-16)

Daniel: (Daniel 9:17-19)

Paul: (Romans 15:30; Galatians 4:19)

Jesus: (Matthew 26:39-44)

A lot of times when we pray, it lacks a real, earnest longing. We can talk to God and ask Him for something, but so often our prayers can be bland or half-hearted! Something that we saw in looking at the way that all of these biblical characters above prayed was that they prayed fervently. To pray fervently means that we pray in such a way that we have or display a passionate intensity. When we pray fervently, we understand the significance of what we are doing—we are coming before the Lord of the universe and asking Him that He might act. When we understand what prayer is in its proper context, praying fervently is simply what makes sense! Prayer is too significant an act, too powerful a conversation to go about it half-heartedly or lackadaisically!

Q: Would you characterize your prayer life as being fervent? If not, why do you think that is?

Q: How can you go about creating a habit of fervent prayer in your life?

Jesus’ example of prayer

As we have looked at what the Bible says about prayer over the past three weeks, we have seen that it has much to say about what prayer is, how we should pray, and in what way we should pray. Hopefully, exploring the Bible’s teaching has been beneficial and even challenging to your own prayer life over the past few weeks as you examine what it looks like in light of Scripture.

We have not yet looked at what is likely the most important passage of Scripture when it comes to prayer, and that is what we will explore this final week. In Matthew chapter six, Jesus’ disciples come to Him and ask that He teach them how to pray. What a great person to ask! If there was ever a person’s model to follow in prayer, Jesus is it! So in verses 9-15, Jesus gives them a model of how they should pray. This is not necessarily meant to be exactly what all of our prayers look like, but rather a template that sheds light on different features that should be included in our prayers. Basically, Jesus’ prayer had four components that we can remember by the acronym P.R.A.Y.

Praise
“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name…”

Repentance
“…forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”

Ask
“Give us this day our daily bread.”

Yield
“…your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

So throughout this week, we are going to unpack the Lord’s prayer piece by piece and seek to understand how it can revolutionize our own prayer life.

Read Matthew 6:9-15

Jesus says that when you pray, start with “Our Father in heaven.” Wow! I hope that this phrase hasn’t become so familiar to you that you’ve lost the incredible wonder it is that we can pray this! Here is the miracle of prayer: it is intimacy with the Almighty! A prayer revolution begins with understanding that because Jesus lived the life we could not and died the death that we should have, we are adopted into God’s family! The God of the entire universe invites us to His table… but the only way for us to get there is if Jesus brings us! My Father is the Creator. My dad is the king! This is the miracle of prayer! It is a relationship of familiarity and reverence blended together! That is such an important thing to understand—familiarity without reverence will lead to flippancy. Reverence without familiarity will lead to empty and hollow religious prayer. Talking to God as my Father should revolutionize the way I pray!

First, it will revolutionize our praying because we will under- stand it as an amazing privilege instead of a religious duty. It will be worship when we realize the amazing grace of God that we are called His sons and daughters. Second, this statement shows us that we can be real with God. As we looked at earlier in this study, I don’t need to impress God or try to fake Him out because the One I am talking to knows me inside out and loves me and wants to hear from me! Third, I can have peace even when my prayers are not answered. When my prayers go unanswered, I know I have a Father who loves me and has a perspective I do not have. I can have confidence He will give me what I ask or what I would have asked if I knew what He knows. Finally, I can be persistent in my praying. This is different than hollow repetition. Because I am His child, I can go to Him anytime and all the time!

Read Matthew 6:9-15

It is fascinating to notice how this pattern of praying progresses. The power of the pattern is found in the pronouns Jesus uses next. Before we ever get to OUR or US we start with YOUR. Jesus spends the next part of this pattern focusing on YOUR NAME, YOUR KINGDOM, and YOUR WILL! This is not a suggestion but the power of this progression is what aligns our praying rightly and frames our prayers in the right context. We should not take a shortcut from what Jesus is trying to teach here!

First He says, “Hallowed be your name…” Hallowed is simply an old-English word that means “to make holy, revere, or respect.” It meant something that is given ultimate concern and is treasured above anything else. Jesus says prayer is revolutionized when God is our Ultimate Treasure. God’s name reflects all that He is and Jesus says if we want our prayer to be aligned, it starts with making God our ultimate treasure, concern, and object of worship! “Hallowed be your name” means I want to be consumed with You and all that Your name points to about You!

Then he says, “Your kingdom come.” Prayer begins to revolutionize my life when I see that I am talking to my Father, for sure, but also when I understand that my Dad is a king who is advancing and will establish His kingdom! That means I come to His table and I want to know what He is doing and how I can be a part of that versus prayer being me coming to Him to inform Him of what I am doing and how He can be a part of it! This changes the way you pray! Prayer revolutionizes us when God’s kingdom becomes our priority.

Finally, Jesus says, “Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” What is the point here? I think Jesus is saying that our prayer is revolutionized when our will and God’s will wrestle because God wins and we change! There are times when we wrestle God in prayer and try to pin Him down to our will and He graciously will wrestle with us. But at some point, He must touch our will whether gently or decisively and in so doing break our will to see the beauty of His will. I surrender to His will. Why? Because I cannot separate the God I treasure from His will. This is what we mean when we talk about praying submissively! His will is the outflow of His name and that is what I long for more than anything. So prayer does change things, namely me!! Your Name, Your Kingdom, and Your Will become the rails upon which the rest of prayer rides!

Read Matthew 6:9-15

Yesterday we learned that the power of this prayer pattern is found in the pronouns. Before we ever get to US, we start with YOUR. This is not a suggestion but the power of this progression is what aligns our praying rightly and frames our prayers in the right context. With our hearts postured in this context we are ready to say, “Give us today our daily bread.” This is so important! Jesus is not teaching that once you get praise out of the way, now it is time to get down to the asking, but that all of your asking flows from your praise and is instructed by your praise! Petition needs to be flavored by praise.

How does this petition revolutionize prayer? First, it revolutionizes prayer because it acknowledges that everything we have comes from our Father. These words project a dependence on our Father to provide for us and when we pray this it is a constant reminder that everything we have comes from His hand. We bring nothing to the table, so to speak. Second, this petition will revolutionize prayer because it believes that our Father loves us and wants to give us what we need! It does not just believe that He is passionate about me and has the power to do what I need, but also that He has the perspective to do what I would have asked if I knew what He knows. Worry believes that I know what He needs to know but doesn’t know yet. Third, this petition will revolutionize prayer because it acknowledges that there are others around the table.

It’s fascinating that Jesus does not say, “Give me” but “Give us.” When we ask our Father to pass the bread, we are sitting around a big table with lots of people! The bread He passes to us may be the provision for the brother or sister next to me. This kind of praying realizes that He gives me what I have, not to hoard but to share!

Read Matthew 6:9-15

In His teaching on how to pray, Jesus says, “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” And then Jesus takes it a step further in verses 14-15 of Matthew 6. When we forgive others, God will forgive us. But if we don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive us. Wow! That is a frightening statement! I thought my forgiveness was as simple as me receiving the gift of forgiveness that Jesus made possible for me by dying on the cross. I didn’t realize it was contingent on me forgiving others. But here’s something that I need to be reminded of over and over and over again: If I’m having trouble forgiving others, I’m not understanding the extent that I need forgiveness. If I’m not willing to forgive others, either, 1) I’ve never properly understood the extent of my need for forgiveness, or 2) I’ve forgotten. How often do you think about the fact that your sins nailed Jesus to the cross? If I’m continually unwilling to forgive someone, I probably have not truly received forgiveness from God because I have no idea how much I need the forgiveness that Jesus offers me at the cross. Let’s be clear, extending forgiveness does not mean what happened was okay. That’s not what forgiveness means. The word “forgive” means to wipe the slate clean, to pardon, to cancel a debt. It does not mean we automatically trust and ignore the past, but we have given up our right to hurt others because they have hurt me.

Q: How does a lack of forgiveness affect our prayers?

Read Matthew 6:9-15

Jesus taught us to pray, “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.” If we are honest, it’s a strange way to pray at first glance because God says in James 1:13 that He does not ever tempt anyone. So why would we pray for God to do something He already said He would never do? Actually, the answer surrounds the word “temptation.” The Greek word used here is “peirasmon” and it is full of meaning. It can mean a temptation or trap for evil or a test and trial that can produce good things. There is actually a chapter in the Bible that uses the same word in both ways (James 1). Trials are something we are to count as joy when we face because they produce good things while temptation is something to be recognized and avoided so it does not end up producing death.

When I pray this way, I am saying that I fully expect that I will face trials. I might pray this with my eyes closed but I will live with my eyes wide open. Tests and trials should not surprise! There are other parts of the Bible where we are told not to be surprised when we are facing trials (James 1:2-4; 1 Peter 4:12). The Bible teaches us that tests are inevitable. I cannot opt out. My tests are unpredictable; I cannot schedule them (no day is a good day for a trial, right?). Also, my tests are assorted. Tests and trials come in all different forms and my tests are not the same as your tests. So when we pray this way, in a sense we are praying with eyes wide open to the fact that we will face tests, but that is not all.

When we pray this way, we are saying that I do not want my tests to trap me, instead I want them to train me. Satan will take a good test and make it a trap. God wants to develop faith in my test and Satan wants to destroy faith. God wants to develop character in my test and Satan would love for me to compromise character in this test! The only way for me to get through this test is to run to God.